Selectively Bitchy

…hormonally-controlled and ranting about it…

Unstoppable RAMming

It’s Wednesday, I feel like crap and its raining outside. I know I got what was coming to me — my boyfriend’s cold/flu thingy (which he was sooo paranoid about it being the Swine flu).

It’s like this icky, muggy blanket of fatigue that’s washed over me, my throat hurts and all i want to do is close my puffy eyes, hide my equally puffy face and wake up next week. And NOT listen to my boyfriend’s  “ha ha I told you to stay away from me” taunts.Yes, I did bug him for sex the entire week he was (and still is) sick, and I managed to coerce  him into it a second time, only for about 10 seconds (no, it wasn’t a done deal, I just felt really bad as he pretended to cry and kept telling me to stop), and yes I know I was asking for it (no really, I was!) so yes, I do deserve my sicko status.

“I can’t believe  you…what’s WRONG with you! When you’re sick you…” my boyfriend suddenly stopped…looking utterly conflustered.

That’s right buddy. Even the biggest baddest sickness, flu, tsunami or earthquake wouldn’t stop me from having sex. Actually, it might be kinda fun to have sex during an earthquake. It’d be like, double the headboard banging (and consequently, double the first-pounding-on-the-wall from our neighbours…or not, it’s an earthquake afterall).

Speaking of which, ugh. The neighbours. We live on the 24th floor in our apartment and our bedroom is head-to-head with the neighbour’s bedroom. I like our neighbours, all 200+ of them but these guys, eh not so much. It’s a husband and wife and sausage dog team from South Africa. Sausage dog annoys the hell out of me and my very cool Staffy bull terrier. Everytime they meet, Sausage dog yaps his balls off and whoever’s walking him gets all sheepish looking but still doesn’t reprimand it. But that’s okay, because I also get equally sheepish-looking everytime i bump into either of them, but more so the wife because i KNOW for a fact she’s not getting any from her husband and he probably envies our sex life because those damn walls are paper thin. And I’m loud. And I never hear anything on their side.

This one time, I couldn’t fall asleep and I totally thought I heard moaning and was actually super happy for them until I realized it was my Staffy snoring outside our bedroom door. Had me fooled for a good 20 minutes. I also know for a fact that either occupants of the two bedrooms in question can hear the other occupants because a couple of months ago my bf were getting really naughtily loud (well, actually just me) and SOMEONE actually started banging on the wall!

So yeah, back to the sheepish look. Now that I think about it, the wife is more sheepish looking towards me than i am to her. It’s like she KNOWS that i know that she’s a sex prude. I get that vibe. And she’s probably jealous that her husband loves to hear us have sex.

Meh..whatevs. I’m no sheep, I’m a RAM! No really, I was born an Aries.

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4 Comments»

  Miss Rosa wrote @

Hey I know … drop off a neighbourly basket full of asparagus. That’ll put a smile on her face … 🙂

  bornagaingoodgirl wrote @

Excellent idea! With a side of cucumbers, eggplants, bananas and pickles (for the other end)!

  Miss Rosa wrote @

eggplants? wow. that’s a new one.

  Mr. Condescending wrote @

move out of that place!


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